I originally wrote this on November 24th, 2009 on my way back from Phoenix, Arizona, on a car ride where I had a lot of God and me time....
Don’t you have those times in your life when you just want to know what God has in store for you right then and there at a precise moment in time? When you want to know if you’re suppose to spend the rest of your life in a country reaching the lost and broken hearted for Him, or if the most incredible girl you have every met on the face of this earth is the one who will be at your side serving Him with you? These questions have run through my head and are always running through my head. I wake up thinking about Christ and Uganda, and I go to bed thinking about those very things. From an outsiders view it is crazy to think that someone could be so centered on passions like these. But from on the inside it is the very essences that drives me now, without Christ I could be nothing, I would have no point, but with Him He is the whole point of my life. The second question is always in the back of my mind, I don’t dwell on it but it’s always there. I do not know what God has in store for my life or who I will be with on my journey of living and serving my Savior, Jesus Christ, until I die. But I will trust Him in everything I do, with everything I do. I know I fail miserable at times, and fall flat on my face, but I know as I mature more in my walk with Christ, I am more at peace with the wonders that are revealed to me. The more I grow closer and dive deeper into Scripture I realize how little I know of the Bible and the background of the events in it. Honestly I am at peace with that and I actually find joy in not understanding everything. It leaves room for me to grow and keep diving deeper; it also reminds me of how big our God is and how we cannot comprehend Him. We can never fully understand Him and that makes Him worthy of our praise.
That is the beauty of having a relationship with Christ. We may want to know our future right now but it’s not our time to know what is to come in our life. When certain events happen or crisis come the majority of times we won’t understand it at that certain point in time, but down the road God uses those events in life to His benefit. That’s the beauty I find in trusting Him, the beauty that He knows everything and I can’t comprehend how but all I know is that He is the one true God. This concept of knowing past, present, and future cannot be comprehended by our finite minds, and no matter how hard we try we will never be able too. Honestly we should just stand in awe of Him and sing praise to our glorious Savior. I am willing to give my all and be patient in everything. Yes, I do struggle with being patient at times, but then God knocks me back down to the reality of it that He is in control of my life. I do what He leads me to do and go where He sends me.
I do not know if I will be a pastor, a student pastor, or a missionary. As a guy at the Honor Academy once put it to me my sophomore summer of high school, “Why not do both? Maybe God has called you to be a pastor and a missionary.” As my life goes on I think of this conversation at the HA’s pool. This conversation becomes more of a reality day in and day out in my life. My mind has become consumed with living for Christ and having this burning passion for Him; and to return to Uganda for who knows how long. I do have other passions of seeing the strengthening of Christians in America, but this passion for Uganda trumps that passion like the number of the grains of sand on a beach. The only thing that can explain this passion I have is God. Everyone who is a follower of Christ knows what I am talking about, you have those times where you just have to stop and stand in awe of the glory of God, because His power and might is the only explanation that can be given in these moments. My accountability group leader calls these moments in life God moments, they are moments where it’s just you and the Creator. In these moments you know that your faith in Christ is the truest thing on this earth.
This brings me to the Thanksgiving Break of November 2009, where I know I had my most prominent God defining moment yet. He revealed to me so much in the little amount of six hours. Words cannot describe the feelings of joy I have in me because of what He has revealed to me. It is such a marvelous mystery to me that the only wise King cares about everyone. I mean this the God who is on a throne in heaven surround by these beings singing “Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD God Almighty who was, and is, and is to come.” With all creation we should sing praise to the King of Kings and He should be our everything. I do not know the conclusion of the things He has revealed but I know that in the end it will all be to His glory. In anything and everything He deserves the glory. If my life were to crumble to pieces I would still praise Him. If everything was taken from me and the only thing I had was the clothes on my back like Job, I would still give all glory to Him. Because He is my strong tower, my rescuer, redeemer, and Jesus Christ is my Savior. So as my life goes on I challenge you to take the journey with me of giving your all to Christ and trust in Him in every situation. The road is a tough one and a beaten path, but at the end the joy of it you feel as if it is worth it ten folds and more. Let Christ be in control of your every step and cling to Him.
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